Seemed like a good idea at the time
by bloodredcherry
Summary: Updated to ch. 6 Lavender and Parvati come up with a plan...
1. One

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Authors Note: I've never written HP Fan fiction before, and this is just a silly, silly little fic that would of course never happen! But that's generally the idea behind my humor fics. Oh and not sure how many times this has been done before, so if this is at all like another authors fic—terribly sorry. 

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Disclaimer: Absolutely _no one_ belongs to me! This story is for entertainment purposes only!

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Keywords: Not centered around an OC, oh happy day!

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Summary: Lavender and Pavarti come with a plan…

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Rated:PG for now, there's a bit of swearing.

Seemed like a good idea at the time…

"No, I'm serious." 

"Lavender..." 

"Think about it, if he cut his hair, gave it a bit of a wash and wore something besides black all the time, he might be all right." 

"You're mad," Pavarti replied, "you're stark raving!" She snorted, "I imagine if Marcus Flint fixed his teeth you'd fancy a date with him too." 

"Now that you mention it..." Lavender pondered, she snickered when she saw her best friends face. "I'm joking. Besides," she dropped her voice to a conspirital whisper. "I never said I wanted a date with Professor Snape-" The two girls shuddered, "-I was simply saying if he shaped up a bit he might get himself a girlfriend and not be so miserable all the time." 

Pavarti grinned, "and you might do better in potions." 

"That too." 

The girls giggled loudly and Ron Weasley looked over from where he and Harry were playing a game of Snap. 

Ron shook his head, "girls," he muttered. 


	2. Two

Seemed like a good idea at the time…

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Disclaimer: Absolutely _no one_ besides Leo belongs to me! This story is for entertainment purposes only!

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"I can't believe we're doing this." Pavarti muttered. 

Lavender rolled her eyes, "it'll be fine, trust me." 

"I don't see why we have to sneak in there and--" 

"SHH!" Lavender slapped a hand over Pavarti's mouth. She shifted her eyes, "can't you see that the enemy is everywhere!?" 

A few Slytherin's slinked past and Lavender glared at them. "I've owled Leo for a bunch of his old robes, told him the whole plan he thinks its brilliant!" 

"Lavender...what exactly_ is_ the plan?" 

"Well," Lavender opened her mouth then knit her brows together, "I...I haven't got one. But that's besides the point, I can't imagine it would really be that difficult--" 

Pavarti blinked at her, "not _that _difficult, to get _into_ a professors _BEDROOM_!?" She boomed the last word and a few students turned startled. She cleared her throat and plastered a smile onto her face. 

"There's no need to shout Pavarti." Lavender sighed, "we just need to figure out a way to get into..." Lavender cleared her throat, "you-know-who's bedroom without getting noticed." She nodded. 

"Right," Pavarti said sarcastically, "sounds like a piece of cake." 

Lavender sighed, "fine, fine then Pavarti if you'd just rather suffer through Potions for the rest of..." Lavender crept away. One...two... 

"Wait a minute!" Pavarti grabbed Lavender's arm and wrenched her back into the corner. "It really...can't be that difficult."

But sadly it did prove to be indeed that difficult. 

Pavarti dropped onto the couch in the common room after their last class, which had been potions, which had been torture, which had made her even more depressed that their plan would be about as likely to be successful as say...well...kissing a Skrewt on its behind! 

"Come on Pavarti," Lavender sat across from her in a large armchair, "chin up." 

"Listen, it was a good joke but really, the day we get into Snape's bedroom is the day that we find ourselves an invisibility cloak!" 

"Listen Ron!" The two girls heard a certain Harry with the last name of Potter exclaim, "if you're going to insist upon wearing my cloak to sneak into the girls change room you could at least ask first!" 

"Right," Ron replied, "sorry." 

Lavender and Pavarti turned and looked at each other both their faces blank with shock then red with anger, then wide with smiles as they both began to laugh--rather hysterically. 

Ron happened to walk by right at that point and made a face. 

"Girls," he muttered, stepping out the door.

Review, but no flames please!


	3. Three

Seemed like a good idea at the time…

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Disclaimer: Absolutely _no one_ besides Leo belongs to me! This story is for entertainment purposes only!

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"Don't smile," Pavarti hissed, she elbowed Lavender in the stomach, "you're looking suspicious." 

"I am not." Lavender replied in Pavarti's ear. 

Professor Snape turned his sharp gaze on them, "five points from Gryffindor, for looking...suspicious." 

The two fifth years glared at Snape when he looked back down at his notes. 

'That's it,' Pavarti scribbled furiously on a piece of parchment, **'**I'm not having anymore points deducted from Gryffindor for anymore _stupid _reasons! I don't care if I have to do a naked dance to get that invisibility cloak! We're getting Snape's robes.TOMORROW.' She shoved her note into Lavender's lap. 

Lavender scrawled her response and held it up for Pavarti to read: 

Excellent 

*

"If those wankers don't leave for dinner soon, you might have to do that naked dance." 

"SSH," Pavarti replied. 

The two girls were huddled behind the door that lead to the girls dorm, they had been waiting nearly ten minutes for the boys to leave and it seemed they never would. 

"Um, excuse me." A voice spoke and the two girls turned around. Hermione Granger was waiting to pass. "What on Earth are you two doing?" 

"Um...waiting for...Uh...HARRY!" Pavarti shouted pulling Lavender out the door. 

Harry looked taken a back and Pavarti smiled. "Great...snitch...catch...there...Harry." Harry rose his eyebrow, they hadn't played since two weeks ago . Pavarti inwardly kicked herself, "just wanted to tell you that." She finished quite lamely. 

"Nakeddance," Lavender coughed into her hands. 

Pavarti sent her a withering glare, "anyway...that's all I have to say. So...you can be on your way!" 

Harry stared at her for a moment more before Ron grabbed his arm and pulled him down the stairs. 

"Ron!" Hermione shouted, running after them, "wait for me!" 

"That was very smooth Pavarti." 

"Well, it worked didn't it?" 

"Barely, now come on lets go." 

"Never said I was a Hollywood actress," Pavarti muttered as Lavender dragged her through the door that led to the boys dormitory.

Review, but no flames please!


	4. Four

Seemed like a good idea at the time…

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Disclaimer: Absolutely _no one_ besides Leo belongs to me! This story is for entertainment purposes only!

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AN: *lets all use our imaginations and pretend there's only the five of them in a room again!* (only of course, if there's not). 

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~*~

The two crept down the stairs, until they reached Harry, Ron, Seamus, Nevill and Deans room. 

"If anyone is in there I swear I'll--" Just as Lavender went to open the door it flew open. 

"BAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!!" Lavender and Pavarti screamed. 

"AAAAIIIEEEEEE!!!!" Seamus jumped and all his books clattered to the floor. "Bloody hell!" He replied gathering up the mess Lavender waved Pavarti away and she ran down the stairs just as Seamus stood up. He looked around. 

"Wasn't Pavarti here a minute ago?" 

"No." Lavender replied. "Listen," she linked her arm through his, "sorry to scare you like that. I just wanted to talk to you with none of the other boys around." 

Pavarti rolled her eyes, but nodded when Lavender through a wink over her shoulder while pretending to throw back her blond hair. 

"Why?" Seamus replied. 

"Because," Lavender replied, she blinked at him, "do you really need a reason for my company?" 

Seamus himself blinked, "yes...generally." 

Lavender sighed, "walk me to the dining hall." 

"Oh," Seamus realized he hadn't much choice as Lavender pulled him along, "all right then!" 

Lavender set her shoulders and stepped inside the room, Seamus had forgot to close the door and she shut it softly behind her. 

The boys dorms looked quite a lot like the girls, except for a few more beds and a smell that was distinctly male. 

"Harry Potter..." Pavarti murmured, scanning the room for his trunk, "there we are." 

She shifted her eyes before flinging open Harry's trunk, grabbing the cloak and shoving it up under her jumper. She slammed his trunk closed, ran for the door and made it upstairs and fast as possible. She ran into the girls dorm and past a few first year girls who stared at her with open mouths. 

She slammed the door to her own room closed and collapsed onto her bed. She buried her face into her pillow and screamed.

Review, but no flames please!


	5. Five

AN: Oi! Yes I know this story is absurd! That was the point! It's meant to be silly! Thanks so much to those who reviewed. :D And terribly sorry about her name! Oh, and Leo works at the Ministry because I don't know where else he could work!

Leo's owl arrived the next day with the rest of the mail and Lavender waited until she and Parvati were alone in the girls toilette before opening it. 

Dear Lavender, 

Here are my robes, hope they fit all right--if not you could always do a bit of an enlarging spell on them. Be sure to take a photograph if you can, I want to show all my friends at the Ministry I think they'd all find it quite hilarious. 

Leo. 

Parvati growled, "the robes better damn well fit! We've gone through enough trouble as it is!" 

"Calm down Parvati! We have the robes, all we have to do is slip on the the cloak and--" 

"Somehow manage to get into his room without him noticing us." 

Lavender nodded, "exactly." 

The girls made their plan quickly, they'd eat a quick supper, and afterwards head to the loo where they'd slip on the cloak and make it back to the great hall before Snape slipped away. Then all they had to do was wait around until he decided to go to bed. 

"That could be hours." 

"Bring a book." 

The girls nodded, shook hands and made their way to their next class. 

Parvati jabbed Lavender awake, holding her hand over her mouth. Snape finally left his classroom closing the door behind him. The two girls waited until he was a safe bit down the hall then stood and followed him. Lavender had her eldest brothers robes slung over her shoulder, Parvati bit her lip and when Severus finally stopped they both were quite out of breath. 

"This had better be worth it," Parvati hissed into Lavender's ear. 

'It will be', Lavender mouthed in reply. 

"Fluffy kittens," Snape sighed and Lavender rose her eyebrows. 

The two girls hurried in after Snape and Parvati opened her mouth in horror as he spun around and almost smacked her into the face. He pulled off his drabby robes and hung them on a hook by his bed, then began to unbutton his shirt.

Lavender and Parvati's eyes widened in terror. Was he going to do what they thought he was going to do!? Why didn't they think of the fact that since they were in his BEDROOM he'd of course get UNDRESSED. 

The two girls turned around and prayed that he wouldn't walk into them. 

Finally they heard him grumble and the sound of rustling sheets. They turned around thankful to see that he was nestled in his bed and that they'd been spared any permanent mental scarring. 

'How long?' Parvati mouthed and Lavender simply shrugged. 

It was going to be a long night. 

Finally an hour later he was asleep, Lavender slipped her brothers old robes from her shoulder. They shuffled over to his bedside where his old robes were hung. Parvati grabbed his black cloak and held her breath as Lavender hung the new robes in their place. They crept over to his dresser which was jammed full of different odds and ends. Parvati eased the first drawer open inside were crisp white shirts and black slacks. She closed it and pulled open the next. 

"Jackpot..." Lavender whispered happily, they grabbed the rest of his robes and closed the drawer. They stepped away. 

All right, now all they had to do was get out and their first mission was accomplished. 

The two girls turned and Lavender's elbow caught a wooden brush. Parvati stifled a gasp and reached out snagging the brush just before it hit the floor. 

Lavender squeezed her shoulder, "brilliant catch." 

Parvati lay the brush back on the top of the dresser and the two girls wasted no time pushing open the door and slipped into the hall. They looked both ways, and when they were sure Mr. Filtch nor Mr. Norris were around they sprinted down the hallway, tore up the stairs and reached the fat lady tearing off the cloak. 

"Uh, excuse me." Parvati whispered and the Fat Lady started awake. Lavender said the password and the portrait hole swung open. They stepped inside and closed their eyes in relief, before of course jumping about and squealing in glee as quietly as they could without waking up the whole house. 

Since if they did wake the whole tower, they'd really have some explaining to do, what with Professor Snape's robes and Harry's invisible cloak. How they were going to get his cloak back to him was another story entirely! One neither girl wanted to think about as they made their way upstairs and into their dorm room. They both collapsed into bed--Lavender shoved Snape's robes under her mattress-- too tired to even change out of their uniforms.

Review but not flames please!


	6. Six finally!

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AN Oh, and yeah…I realize that Snape could likely do some sort of magic to restore his robes or something, but not in this story. MUAHAHAHAHAHA. Right, and obviously this story does not go with novel or movie canon, so it's an AU. 

Thanks to all those who have reviewed! (sorry for the long wait…this hopefully will be updated every now and again) Oh! And if any of you have any idears for ways for Snape to improve just drop them in the review. Also…I have no idea who his 'girl friend' could possibly be. Thanks again and enjoy!

"I mailed Leo back you-know-who's robes," Lavender explained the next morning, "told him to burn them." 

Parvati nodded, "good." She spread concealer under her eyes, the girls hadn't realized how late they had in fact returned to their dorm. She shuddered at the thought of Snape and sneaking into his room. "Never, ever again." She vowed. 

They both did their best not to make a mad dash for the dining room, they were eager to see Snape and his new robes. They each settled down at the table and looked up to the teachers table. 

"Blast," Lavender muttered, "he's not even there!" Just as the words left her lips a silence fell over the dining hall. Parvati grabbed Lavender's hand and they both turned to gape with the rest of the staff and students of Hogwarts. 

It was truly amazing what a little colour did for the usually pallid professor. The deep crimson robes brought out the colour in his cheeks and contrasted sharply with his dark hair. 

Realization rippled through the students. 

"Holy shite—" 

"Is that—?" 

"What happened?" 

"_Snape_." 

Lavender and Parvati scooped large helpings of eggs onto their plates and tried to conceal their smiles. 

Snape did not look pleased, in fact he looked absolutely livid when he heard the whispers and surprised exclamations of the students his face turned nearly the same colour as his robes. 

Parvati cleared her throat, "Leo didn't happen to label his robes did he?" 

The two girls watched as Snape spoke to Dumbledore who was trying to keep from smiling. 

It was just after Divination that Parvati spotted Professor McGonagall, she clutched Lavender's arm. 

"OW," Lavender wrenched her arm away, "What—?" 

Parvati turned her pale face towards her friend, "he did label his robes!" She shrieked, "do you know what this means!? This means that Professor Snape knows we stole his robes! He knows we got into his bedroom. HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING" 

"Merlin's beard!" Lavender clapped her hands onto Parvati's shoulders. "Pull yourself together!"

Parvati's face was turning a deep shade of red and it looked like she was about to faint. "PULL MYSELF—"

Lavender yanked Parvati against the wall, silencing her mid sentence "are you mad? We'll just play it cool." 

Prof. McGonagall cleared her throat, "excuse me ladies." 

"Yes?" Parvati squeaked. 

"Would you please come with me." 

Parvati looked about to faint and Lavender took her about the shoulders, "of course," she flashed a wining smile at the transfiguration professor. "What's this about?" 

"I'm sure both of you were present today at breakfast." 

They both nodded. 

"And I'm sure you both noticed Professor Snape's new robes." 

"What does that have to do with us Professor?" 

"Well," if Parvati wasn't hallucinating she could have sworn that McGonagall's eyes were twinkling, "it just so happens that Prof. Snape's robes were stolen." 

Lavender gasped in a way that perhaps a bit too theatrical. 

"And it also just so happens that the robes had the name Leo Brown stitched into the hem." McGonagall narrowed her eyes, "you two wouldn't happen to know anything about Prof. Snape's robes being stolen would you?" 

Both girls shook their heads, "no." The replied in tiny voices.

By that time they reached the dungeons they could hear Snape's thunderous yelling from his classroom. 

"I WANT THEM EXPELLED THIS MINUTE!" 

Parvati flinched. 

"Now Now, Severus, calm down--" 

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" He slammed his fist down on his desk and Parvati jumped. He looked up and saw the two quaking fourth years. If looks could kill the Wizarding world would never had needed the Dark Lord Voldemort. 

Albus Dumbledore turned to the two terrified girls, "hello," he said smiling brightly, "won't you two sit down." It was as if Prof. Dumbledore were asking them to tea, not into the dungeons of Hogwarts. "I assume Prof. McGonagall explained the situation." 

Lavender nodded, "yes." 

Severus stood up suddenly and his chair clattered to the floor, "I KNOW IT WAS—" 

Dumbledore sighed, "sit down Severus!" 

Severus growled made a sort of harrumph noise in the back of his throat and picked up his chair. 

"I think what we have here is—" 

"A CASE OF EXPULSION—" 

"To be quite frank, if these girls somehow managed to sneak into your room and steal your robes I'd say they did the school a favor!" Dumbledore held out his hand, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "Now would please take a deep breath and calm down?"

Severus Snape's mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sound came out. He looked at Dumbledore almost as if he were about to cry. "Now Professor Snape, detention of course will be given for being out of dorm after curfew, but as for expulsion…I'd say that's not necessary in this case, if—" He looked at Lavender and Parvati, "these two girls promise to never do it again."

"We promise sir!" Parvati blurted, "honestly we've learned our lesson, we are very bad girls and will never do anything like that ever—" Lavender clapped a hand over her best friends mouth.

"If that's all Sir…"

Professor Snape finally managed to find his voice again, "IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT."

Lavender froze, her eyes wide with fright.

Snape sneered at the look on her face, "I must insist upon giving this detention myself."

"Of course Severus, now girls get off to class, you're already late!"

The two girls stood and practically ran out the door

"Miss. Brown and Miss. Patil," Snape called coolly, just as the two girls reached the stars.

They turned.

Snape chuckled, "I'm going to make the two of you wish you'd never meddled in my life…and also…I'm taking sixty points from Gryffindor."

(Snape is a bad, BAD man!)

"Sixty points from Gryffindor!?" Parvati wailed.

"Don't worry, it will all be worth it in the end."

"All be worth it in the end? I thought this _was_ the end!"

Lavender snorted, "oh no. We've just begun."

Parvati snorted in retort, "oh have we? Well I think I've had my share of being rebellious Lavender—"

Lavender sighed.

"What?"

Lavender simply shook her head.

"Well what is it?"

Lavender looked at Parvati, "are you honestly going to stop now? Just when we've started."

"Are you honestly off your _nut_? Gone 'round the twist? BLOODY MAD?" Parvati took control of her voice, "_I'm not sure about you_," she began in a low whisper, "_but I'm not too excited about having a week's worth of bloody detentions with Professor Snape. In fact I'd rather like to go throw myself to the giant squid_!"

Lavender sighed, "you are far to melodramatic for your own good. Don't you trust me?"

Parvati looked reproachfully at her best friend. "I'm not so sure anymore."

"Well, we'll just have to be more careful next time—namely we mustn't get caught."

"You really are mad, I can't believe you're honestly going to go on with this."

"Well…" Lavender paused, "I guess I am mad." And with that she flipped her hair over her shoulder and made her way down the hall.

Parvati could do nothing but stare after her.

This is when you're ideas come in if you have them! So let me know. (No flames please!)


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